There's something about Luffy
by Marcman
Summary: Luffy catches a strange scent in his nose that cuases him to go crazy and start wrecking everything in sight! Can Zoro, Nami, and the others find out what the heck is going on with Luffy? Rated M for sexual jokes and cursing. This fic is complete.
1. The scent

1There's something about Luffy

A One Piece fanfic by Marcman2020

Chapter 1: The scent

The Going Merry was on its was to a rich island with one of the most famous restaurants ever. The restaurant was called the "The fancy Bouquet Buffet" and it was so popular that the island itself was named after that very restaurant. Luffy of course, agreed to going to this island after being told of it's existence by Sanji and Nico Robin. Sanji said he was mainly interested in seeing what recipe's they used for their foods, while Luffy's anticipation was to scarf down as much food into his gut as possible.

It was night time, but the Island itself was purely illuminated in all the fancy lights. The Restaurant from far looked like a gigantic diamond carved dome right in the very middle of the city. Even though they were not too close yet, they could already see the giant dome shaped restaurant from their current position.

"Well, there it is, one of the most popular and famous restaurants in the world... Who know's what high class dining and fine meals they will have there! I can't wait!" Said Nami, as she held a small pamphlet in her hand.

"I've heard they specialize in basically every culture the food in the world. The portions are large, affordable, and some the recipes are rumored to have existed for thousands of years..." Said Robin.

and of course... ALL THE WAITRESSES ARE IN THOSE BEAUTIFUL YET REVEALING GOSSAMER OUTFITS!" Explained Sanji, with his eye's suddenly turning into hearts with a smile stretching it's way across his face.

"I knew there was another reason for going to this place you perverted cook..." Said Zoro. Sanji shot a death glare at Zoro.

"Wow, I can smell the food from right here!" Said Chopper, as he sniffed the air.

"Hey, I think I can smell it from over here too!" Said Usopp. The two began to smell the air.

"What ever it is, it smells great! In fact, that's the first thing I'm going to eat when we get there!" Said Usopp.

"I hope you're aware that some one farted..." Said Zoro, pretty much killing the whole moment for Usopp and Chopper, turning them completely white and pail, causing them to instantaneously face fault into the floor.

"Ahahahaha, Good one Zoro!" Said Luffy, who then continued laughing at Usopp and Chopper's reactions.

"I'm serious, some one actually blew a big one..." Said Zoro. Luffy stopped laughing, and every one else looked toward Zoro (Sept for the unconscious Usopp and Chopper)

"I don't remember farting... are you sure it wasn't you Zoro?" Asked Luffy.

"IT WAS NOT ME YOU IDIOT!" Said Zoro.

"Stop putting the blame for your gas, Baka..." Said Sanji.

"OH SHUT UP! YOU FREAKING COOK WITH GAS ALL THE TIME, ERO-COOK!" Zoro yelled to Sanji with a tone full of rage.

"EW! I smell it too! What is that stink!" Said Nami. Luffy started smelling the air. After a few seconds of his brain trying to find a match of what the scent belonged too, Luffy's eye pupils suddenly shrunk as his eyes widened. He then clenched his fists and grunted his teeth, who ever the scent belonged too was making him angry.

"WHO EVER JUST DID THAT IS GOING TO BE THROWN OVER BOARD!" Yelled Nami.

"Nami, I will proudly throw Zoro off the ship for you!" Said Sanji, with his eye's turning into hearts.

"I TOLD YOU ALL, IT WASN'T ME!" Zoro yelled out.

"No... There's something different about this smell... if you really concentrate, it does smell like what you all assume, it actually smells like-" Before Nico Robin could finish talking, Luffy interrupted with an extremely loud yell.

"PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSS!" He yelled out with all his might, leaving the rest of his crew mates with blank expressions.

"Now that you mention it, it does smell a bit like a crotch..." Said Usopp, who had finally gotten up.

"An infected one if it stinks this badly..." Said Chopper, covering his nose.

Luffy suddenly leapt off the ship and into the air. If he'd continue falling, he'd land in the ocean water, and due to his devil fruit powers, he'd drown.

"LUFFY, WAIT, ARE YOU CRAZY!" Usopp yelled.

"OI, OI, LUFFY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Zoro exclaimed.

"GUMO GUMO NO... ROCKET!" Luffy stretched out his rubber arms to incredible lengths to grip the very edge of the Island. He then retracted his arms, firing him toward the island like a bullet.

"Where's he going?" Chopper said, with his mouth hanging open.

"LUFFY! WAIT! COME BACK!" Said Usopp. The rest of the group was shocked at what just happened, as they watched Luffy land head first into the island. Luffy was covered in rubble from the rock side walk he crashed into, but he instantly sprung up, sending the rubble into the air shouting out "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSS!" and then ran further into the city, where he was now out of site.

"W...WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!" Said Sanji.

"Apparently, something having to do with a phallus..." Said Nico Robin.

"Damn it, I was looking foward to this dinner and I am not going to let him ruin it! WE HAVE TO GET THERE QUICKLY BEFORE HE DOES SOMETHING STUPID!" Said Nami.

"I think what he did already is pretty damn stupid to begin with..." Said Usopp after a quick sigh.

"Or insane..." Added Zoro.

What had happened to Monkey D. Luffy? Why was he going so insane over a penis? And why the hell was there the smell of a penis to begin with?

The crew would hopefully find out soon enough...


	2. The rage

Chapter 2: The rage

"Sorry Nami, but even at our maximum speed right now, it will be three to five minutes before we actually reach the island" Said Chopper. Nami sighed angrily.

"Damn it, knowing how Luffy is, he'll do a great deal of damage and by the time we get there, there will be a mob of people ready with their guns to drive us away" Said Nami.

"I knew it would not be long till Luffy admitted it..." Said Zoro.

"What's that mean?" asked Chopper.

"Well ever since I saw Luffy, he's never shown interest in any girls. With this sudden out burst over a penis, it's pretty obvious what team he's playing on." Said Zoro. Chopper tilted his head and stared at Zoro. He still did not know what he was getting at. Zoro took a deep breath and said "He's GAY!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! OUR CAPTAIN IS GAAAAAY!" Yelled Chopper out of shock.

"Oh please Zoro, he's not gay... If any one gay it's you... I know that you and Sanji were going crazy over each others penises... I heard you two in the bathroom yesterday!" Said Nami.

"WHAT! YOU IDIOT, WE WERE COMPARING SIZES! IT WAS AN ARGUMENT WE FINALLY SETTLED!" Zoro exclaimed..

"And mine was MUCH bigger than his, Nami-san! I promise you'd be satisfied with it!" Said Sanji.

"Shut up, your's is long, but it's thin... it's like a noodle dangling from your crotch, mine has more girth!" Said Zoro.

"Like Hell it does, my penis is extremely perfect in anatomy, yours may have more meat, but it's extremely short and stubby like if some one pushed it down too hard and squished it!" Said Sanji.

"YEAH RIGHT, I BET YOU GET CONFUSED WHEN YOU COOK NOODLES AND ACCIDENTLY BOIL IT!" Zoro yelled, making a come back.

"SCREW YOU! WITH HOW DEFORMED YOURS IS, YOU HAVE TO PISS SITTING DOWN!" Yelled Sanji back.

"I, CAPTAIN USOPP, HAVE A PENIS THAT IS 15 INCHES LONG, AND I HAVE PLEASURED A WOMAN IN EVERY COUNTRY!" added Usopp. Sanji and Zoro kicked Usopp in the face at the same time, instantly knocking him down with a now bent and bleeding nose.

"THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE THAT'S 15 INCHES IS YOUR NOSE!" Both men yelled.

"They're scaring me!" Said Chopper, as he hid behind Nico Robin. He did not understand why these grown men were arguing about the size of their penises.

"OKAY THAT IT! CHOPPER, COME HERE!" Said Zoro.

"WHICH ONE IS BIGGER?" Said Sanji. Both men started to pull their pants down. Nico Robin made extra arms appear out of their bodies which pulled their pants back up.

"Sorry boys... not today..." She said. Nami then punched both men on the back of their heads, instantly sending them to the ground.

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP! IF I HEAR THE PENIS ONE MORE TIME, I'LL CUT BOTH OF YOURS OFF!" She yelled.

Meanwhile, on the island, Luffy continued running around the island sniffing the air.

"I SMELL PENIS!" He yelled. There were not too many people outside currently. A man who had just been woken up by Luffy's yelling. He was now cranky, and he opened the window to see what was all the noise. He took out a glass bottle and flung it at Luffy, which instantly shattered when it hit Luffy's head.

"SHUT UP YA PENIS SNIFFING BASTED! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP AND YOU'RE NOT MAKING IT EASY!" He yelled. Luffy was angry enough as it was, and what this man did just made him even more pissed off.

"PEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSS! GUMO GUMO NO BAZOOKA!" Yelled Luffy, he stretched his arms all the way back, and then launched both of them foward with enough strength to break down the man's house and cause it to collapse. The man emerged from the debris that was left, now terrified when he witnessed this "Penis sniffing basted's" power. Luffy then ran over to him, and held him up in the air by his collar.

"WHERE CAN I FIND PENIS!" Luffy said with rage while giving the man a brief but violent shake.

"W...w...what?" Said the man in a terrified tone.

"WHERE CAN I FIND PENIS! I WANT PENIS!" Yelled Luffy.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBL-" Before the man could finish, Luffy shook him even harder and more violently.

"STOP PLAYING STUPID BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!" Yelled Luffy. The man at this point, was too petrified and confused to respond. Luffy grunted, exposing his teeth, and just threw the man into the air with all his might. The man went flying and landed into some one else's house head first, breaking down the wall and doing more damage. Luffy was still enraged as he looked around more.

"PENIS... I CAN FIND THE PENIS IN THERE!" Luffy said. He followed his scent, all the way to the number one and gigantic restaurant in the city, "The fancy Bouquet Buffet" Luffy ran inside, it seemed that the entire town was eating out in that restaurant due to some special occasion.

The restaurant was extremely rich looking with bright chandeliers all over the ceiling. Everything was shiny and clean, but the restaurant itself seemed to stretch out more than the eye could see, there were tables all over the place occupied by people with hundreds of waiters walking back and front. There were also Buffet tables all over the place full of huge varieties of foods.

Luffy sat at one of the tables, he was so pissed off that even he, a boy with a giant appetite, ignored all of it because he was seeking one thing... A PENIS...

A waiter walked up to Luffy to take his order.

"Good evening sir... what would you like with your meal?" Asked the waiter.

"Penis..." Luffy said under his breath, facing the floor with his hand clenched.

"Peanut sundae? Of course sir! Anything else?" Asked the waiter.

"PENIS..." Luffy said under his breath again.

"Pea necessity? Our finest pea soup? Good choice sir!" Said The waiter.

"PENIS!" Luffy said once more, trying to get his point through.

"I'm sorry, but WHAT?" Asked the waiter.

"ARGH...penis penis penis penis penis penis penis PENIS!" Luffy yelled into the waiters face.

"What on earth do you mean, sir?" Asked the waiter, now very confused and disturbed. Luffy punched the waiter and sent him flying.

"PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS! I KNOW PENIS IS HERE!" Yelled Luffy. He caught the attention of every one in the restaurant.

"GUMO GUMO NO... PISTOL!" Luffy yelled out, as he stretched one of his arms and punched a buffet table, sending it flying and landing on a family's table that was throwing their child a birthday party and crushing them.

"GUMO GUMO NO...WHIP!" Luffy screamed, as he stretched his foot and swung it in a full 360 degree circle, destroying more tables and injuring dozens of people. Luffy continued lashing out, destroying property and causing chaos, stirring all the people into a panic and making them run for their lives as Luffy continued his rampage. Every one screamed and ran away, as Luffy continued with his rage.

Luffy then smelled the air again. "This way" he thought out loud to himself. He then ran toward one of the walls and stretched booth of his arms back.

"Gumo Gumo no... BAZOOKA!" He said, and he stretched his arms all the way back, and then shot them foward to bust down the wall in front of him and make a hole. He ran through the hole, leading him back to the outside, screaming "PEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"

Meanwhile, back in the restaurant, the same waiter was being yelled at by the manager.

"Well obviously this is your fault... HE WANTED THE DEER PENIS SOUP AND YOU KEPT MISINTERPRETING HIS ORDER! THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU! YOU'RE FIRED!" Said the manager to the waiter.

"OH! IT WAS SO OBVIOUS! I'm sorry I failed you sir!" Cried the waiter, who then burst into tears.


	3. The plan

Chapter 3: The plan

"HE DID WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Nami yelled out in shock. Her mouth dropped and her eye's widened as she looked at the damage that was done to "The Fancy Bouquet Buffet" even though it had not been completely destroyed, one fifth of it had been completely ruined by Luffy, and for that, it had to be closed down for maintenance. It also seemed the people filed a report for the marines to come to the island, and the marines would arrive in one hour.

"How could Luffy do this... HE COSTED US OUR ONE CHANCE TO DINE AT ONE OF THE FANCIEST PLACES IN HISTORY!" Usopp cried.

"AND HE SCARED ALL OF THE CUTE GIRLS IN REVEALING OUTFITS AWAY!" Sanji whined.

"At this rate... we'll have to find him before he does more damage..." Said Robin.

"Bah, finding him won't be easy, he might have already ran out of this town and gone further to another part of the island..." Said Zoro.

"PEEENIIIS!" They all heard from a distance, followed by a rather large exploding noise.

"Okay I take that back, he's still here..." Said Zoro.

"At this rate Luffy will bring the city down" Said Robin.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH? WHAT WILL WE DO TO STOP HIM!" Chopper said as he started to panic.

"We'll have to catch him, that's what... AND THEN KILL HIM FOR COSTING ME ONE OF THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE!" Said Nami, she then groaned angrily.

"We'll with how berserk he's going now, trying to take him by force would only result in more damage around the area... I suggest we plan this out throughly..." Said Nico Robin.

"I already made a liquid that smells similar to the scent that's driving Luffy insane... we could use it to lure him away from the city!" Said Chopper, as he showed off the test tube.

"But the smell doesn't seem to be strong enough for Luffy to smell... we need to coat it on something or some one..." Said Zoro.

"This looks like a job for... USOPP EMERGENCY REPLACEMENT PENIS!" Usopp said out loud, holding what appeared to be a rubber penis over his head. There was an awkward silence, which allowed the sound of Luffy's yelling and the sounds of his destruction to be heard better.

"Usopp... What are you doing carrying a rubber penis where ever you go?" Asked Sanji.

"I carry it around just incase of an emergency!" Said Usopp. Every one looked at him suspiciously.

"An emergency you say..." Said Sanji, cocking one of his brows. He and the others continued to eye Usopp awkwardly.

"NO WAIT! IT'S TRUE! YOU KNOW ALWAYS HAVE OBJECTS THAT USUALLY HELP US DURING AN EMERGENCY!" Said Usopp.

"Usopp... what emergencies besides this can we possibly need THAT for?" Asked Zoro.

Flash back

It was day time, and Luffy and crew were on the sea. Chopper was doing medical research, reading a book and mixing medicines and potions using test tubes. Usopp walked up to him.

"Hey Chopper, you know that rubber penis I gave you so you can study it's anatomy for research went?" Asked Usopp.

"I was looking at it and taking notes of it. It's very realistic... Any way, Nami saw me with it, yelled at me that I should not be playing with such a thing, then took it and left." Said Chopper. There was some awkward silence from Usopp.

"No wonder she's been so relieved today and not cranky... But wait, what did she do with that afterward?" Usopp thought out loud.

"HEY LUFFY! DON'T EAT THAT!" Yelled Sanji.

End Flash back

"I remember that... Luffy found it in his soup and almost choked on it... I don't have any idea how that got in the soup..." Said Sanji.

"Well, it's settled, we'll put some of that stuff Chopper made on Usopp's "Emergency penis" and send some one with it to attract Luffy and lure him to the other side of the city, where we'll ambush him." Said Nami. Chopper poured the test tube full of the familiar smelling liquid on the penis, and then started walking away with Nami and the others.

"Good luck, Usopp." Said Nami, as her and the others walked off toward the other side of town.

"WHAT! WHY ME! GOING NEAR LUFFY NOW WHEN HE'S LIKE THAT IS SUICIDE!" Said Usopp.

"Your penis, your problem... See ya Usopp!" Said Nami. They then left, and Usopp was left by himself... Most of the townspeople had evacuated already, others were doing their best to fix up the restaurant.

"Well... THIS IS IT! I, AND ONLY I, USOPP THE BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA AND CHAMPION OF EARTH, SHALL STOP THIS MAD MAN!" Usopp announced, trying to be brave, though his legs were still trembling. Usopp walked down the city, toward the constant crashes, explosions, and screaming being made from Luffy.

"Yup...Usopp, PENIS SOLDIER! Brave soldier who's courage is as big as the size of his penis! I like the sound of that!" Usopp thought out loud. Many people passed by Usopp as they were running away from Luffy. Usopp was walking toward Luffy nervously but lost in thought, trying to ignore all the frightened people running away from Luffy right past him.

After awhile, Usopp was getting closer to Luffy's exact location, having fantasies about him with an army wielding giant rubber penis's that would fight evil pirates, a force that was stronger and more superior to the marines. A force that would be recognized across the globe and cuase pirates to tremble. Every soldier would have their penis of choice, and by using those penises, they could defeat any foe by using their strength and unlimited courage. Usopp would be the leader of this army, and he'd also be the most powerful penis soldier in the world.

"Usopp, proud penis soldier... With his mighty long and trusty rubber penis, he is invincible, and has more power that all of the pirates combined! PIRATES AND MARINES WILL HAVE TO KNEEL DOWN TO PAY RESPECT TO THE GREAT AND POWERFUL USOPP AND HIS PENIS!" Usopp thought out loud with pride.

Luffy appeared behind from Usopp, picking up an entire house and throwing it across the city, still yelling out "PEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"

Usopp stood incredibly still, keeping the same expression and pose he had just a second ago, now paralyzed out of fear.


	4. The chase

1Chapter 4: The chase

Luffy appeared behind from Usopp, picking up an entire house and throwing it across the city, still yelling out "PEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"

Usopp stood incredibly still, keeping the same expression and pose he had just a second ago, now paralyzed out of fear. Luffy continued sniffing the air, snorting and grunting as he did so like a wild animal. Usopp quickly hid behind one of the houses as Luffy sniffed around angrily.

Usopp took out a fishing rod and tied the rubber penis onto the fishing wire at the end. It would be perfect to lure Luffy from a distance with out getting hurt, or so Usopp thought. Usopp put the rubber penis on the corner of the house where Luffy could see it, while Usopp himself hid one block away. Luffy sniffed around the area until he saw the little penis sticking out from the side of the house. It filled him with rage as he clenched his fist so hard that blood trickled out from it.

"GUMO GUMO NO... PISTOL!" Luffy launched his fist at the penis, wanting to smash it. Usopp instantly reeled the penis in with the fishing rod and started running off. Luffy ended up smashing the concrete side walk instead, but he retracted his fist and proceeded to pursue Usopp.

"This was a great idea! Now all I have to do is run back to the other side of town and Luffy won't be able to catch up to me! He'll just follow the smell and the rest will capture him!" Thought Usopp.

"I USOPP, THE PENIS SOLDIER, AM A BRILLIANT MASTER MIND AND TACTICIAN!" He yelled out. Luffy chased Usopp, but even though Luffy was far away, he was already catching up with Usopp, still screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! PEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIISSS! GUMO GUMO NO...STILTS!" Said Luffy. Just then, Luffy's Leg's stretched twenty feet upward, making him allot taller looking, but at the same time it made each of Luffy's steps further so he could catch up with Usopp a lot faster. When Usopp saw this, he screamed and started running faster.

As Luffy ran after Usopp, his feet stomped on the ground, leaving a small hole in the concrete path every time he took a step. The town shook with each of Luffy's steps, and Usopp panicked more every time Luffy got close enough, although he was now running at top speed, Luffy was closing in.

When Luffy got close enough, he retracted his legs and returned to normal size, and then started to stretch out his mouth, making his head bigger than Usopp's entire body!

"GUMO GUMO NO... CHOMP!" He yelled out, as he then chomped down on Usopp. Usopp quickly jumped ahead out of reflex, dodging the attack by only an inch, but still lucky enough to survive. Although Usopp had gotten out of the big bite attack fine, the same could not be said for his Rubber Penis though. It seemed only half of the rubber penis was still tied to the fishing rod, it was obvious Luffy bit off the other half of it. Usopp's eyes widened when he saw what was left of his penis, causing him to get more frightened than he already was and run even faster than he was before.

He was almost to the edge of town where the others said they would meet him, but unfortunately he tripped and fell down, hurting his knee. He dropped the fishing rod with the rubber penis attached to it, and now Luffy was catching up!

"AAAAAAAAAH! NO WAIT! LUFFY! STOP! IT'S ME! USOPP! USOPP RUBBER BAND!" Said Usopp, taking out a rubber band and aiming it at Luffy, but it was no use, Luffy was still rushing toward him.

"USOPP NOISE!" Usopp yelled, taking out a chalk board and scratching it, hoping the noise would irritate Luffy and make him stop, however, it did not work, Luffy was still coming!

"USOPP SPELL! USING A CHEESE GRATER TO PLEASURE YOURSELF!" Said Usopp, trying to make Luffy shudder from what he just said, but that did not work either! Luffy approached Usopp and jumped into the air, loading up for his trade mark attack "Gumo Gumo No Pistol"

"LUFFY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Usopp. Usopp's life then started flashing before his eyes as the song "All by myself" by Celine Dion played in the background of his mind.

However, rather than hitting Usopp, Luffy rammed his stretched out fist into what was left of the Usopp emergency penis. He then used Gumo Gumo no gatling gun, continuously beating down the penis with all his strength. Luffy yelled out and perspired as he continued to pound it extremely hard until his big climax.

"GUMO GUMO NO... BAZOOKA!" He said, he scan slammed both of his arms into the rubber penis, finishing it off. By the time he was finished, all that was left was a crater, a pile of rubble, and one torn apart penis. Luffy then slowly turned his angered face toward Usopp. Usopp jumped back out of fear, he was next!

Luffy jumped toward Usopp, and next thing Usopp knew, ten extra arms appeared on Luffy's body to hold him down; those arms belonged to Nico Robin. Tony Tony Chopper also appeared in his "Arm point" form, and used his massive muscular arms to hold Luffy in place. Zoro and Sanji also appeared and held the enraged Luffy down.

"PEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS! BIG PEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIS!" Luffy continued to yell out. Usopp gasped as he watched Luffy struggle from the grip of his own comrades, it was like watching a wild animal in chains. Just then, Nami stepped up to Luffy, and bitch slapped him across the face, instantly shutting him up. Luffy was then silent, as he had finally come to his senses.

"Oi...Nami... why is every one holding me down? Is this some kind of sex thing?" Asked Luffy.

"You... Don't remember what you were doing?" Asked Nami.

"Nope... not at all..." Said Luffy. Every one stopped holding down Luffy, seeing as now he was calm.

"Rest in peace, Usopp emergency penis... you will be missed..." Usopp said to the smash up remains of the rubber penis in the crater Luffy left behind.

"Well for starters... YOU WENT BERSERK, YOU TRASHED UP THIS CITY, YOU RUINED OUR CHANCE OF EATING AT ONE OF THE BEST PLACES ON EARTH, AND NOW THE MARINES ARE COMING OVER HERE AND WE NEED TO ESCAPE!" Nami yelled at Luffy.

"Really? I don't remember... Are you making stuff up Nami?" Asked Luffy. Nami then punched Luffy in the face.

"It is obvious he's lying to us and denying the bad things he did..." Said Usopp. Usopp then pulled out another rubber Penis from his bag, this time it was a rubber penis that was twice as big, twice as thick, and had razor blades sticking out of it.

"WE MUST INTERROGATE HIM! USOPP EMERGENCY RAZOR PENI-" Before Usopp could finish, Sanji and Zoro kicked and punched Usopp at the same time saying "ENOUGH WITH THE PENISES ALREADY!"

With the mention of the word "Penis" Luffy got reminded of why he went berserk, and started to clench his teeth again. Chopper once again took cover behind Nico Robin.

"PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!" Luffy yelled out. Nami bopped Luffy on the head before he had a chance to go berserk.

"ENOUGH OF THAT! WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE NOW!" Said Nami.

"BUT NAMI! THE PENIS! I GOTTA FIND THE PENI-"

"SHUT UP! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!"

"NAMI, WE ARE NOT LEAVING UNTIL WE FIND THE PENIS! IT'S HERE AND I WILL FIND HIM!" Luffy yelled at her.

"WE'RE GOING NOW AND THAT'S FINAL!" Nami yelled back.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT!" Said Usopp, pointing at something across from Nami and Luffy. Nami and Luffy looked toward the giant dark figure. Sanji's mouth dropped as his cigarette fell from his mouth and landed on the floor. Zoro stepped back and gripped the handle of one of his katana about to draw it from it's sheath. Nico Robin and Chopper stared at it with shock, while Nami's eyes widened and her attention on Luffy completely vanished as she stared down this giant figure that appeared before them.

It cast it's shadow, which was long with two balls on the side of it.

"Wh...WHAT IS THAT?" Said Nami.

"THERE IT IS! THE PEEEEEENIIIIISSSS!" Luffy yelled out of pure rage.

To be continued...


	5. The Penis

Chapter 5: The Penis

It cast it's shadow, which was long with two balls on the side of it.

"Wh...WHAT IS THAT?" Said Nami.

"THERE IT IS! THE PEEEEEENIIIIISSSS!" Luffy yelled out of pure rage. There in front of them was a penis, an actual penis walking on it's own, it stood on both testicles and walked on them as if they were feet. The little penis walked toward Luffy and friends, shocking them with it's very existence.

"I... I don't believe it... Luffy was right! It's a penis!" Said Usopp.

"BUT... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! HOW COULD A PENIS WALK ON ITS OWN!" Chopper said in disbelief.

"I've seen plenty of bizarre things in the grand line... but this... is strange even for me!" Said Robin. The penis walked to them, waddling like a penguin with every moment. The penis then looked up and Luffy and his crew.

"Excuse me... DO YOU MIND! Can't I walk around in public with out being stared at like I'm a freak PLEASE?" Asked the penis.

"Sorry, be on your way! But I was actually pointing at the guy behind you, no you!" Said Luffy.

"Oh... then in that case, I too apologize for accusing you of staring... take care!" Said the penis. The penis then walked off further into town.

"Guy behind him?" Asked Usopp, as he then turned his attention to an even BIGGER figure that stood ten feet tall and cast his shadow over Luffy and crew. Since they had their attention on the little talking penis, they failed to notice this giant of a man earlier. This man also had a bad smell, the same exact scent that crossed their noses before Luffy went berserk.

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU! PENIS! I'VE FOUND YOU AT LAST!" Said Luffy. The man in front of them was none other than the nortorious pirate, "P.Ness" whom Luffy had been seaking! The disgusting aroma coming from him caused Luffy and the others to hold their noses from his stench. This man also seemed to have dirty rag like clothes like that of a bum, but he also had a head that was long with a chin that looked suggestively like a ball sack. He grinned as he looked toward Luffy and the others.

"Well then Luffy... It seems fate has brought us together to have a show down in the grand line!" Said P.Ness.

"SHUT UP! YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU TOOK FROM SHANKS!" Luffy screamed out.

"Took from Shanks?" Nami asked.

(Flash Back)

Long ago when Luffy was still seven years old and long before he set off find the treasure "One Piece" he hung out at a bar with Shanks. Shanks was practically Luffy's idol, and Luffy did not like watching other pirates or bandits messing with Shanks. Today, everything was going peaceful while Luffy continuously bugged Shanks about himself being ready to be in his crew... until a certain some one came into the bar. His smell caused every one to stop drinking and start holding their noses. He stepped inside the Bar, grinning and filthy looking.

"SHANKS... I AM SEEKING THE MAN KNOWN AS SHANKS!" Said this man.

"EW! SHANKS THAT GUY SMELLS! WHO IS HE!" Luffy said while holding his nose.

"That's P.Ness, one of the most hated pirates in the world... they say that his crew left him becuase of his bad smell... and they were embarrassed about the fact that their flag was a phallus with crossbones behind it..." Shanks explained.

"What's a Phallus?" Asked Luffy.

"If you don't know something like that, then you're not fit to be a pirate at all!" Shanks laughed. P.Ness got closer and other people started to evacuate the bar.

"Shanks... I HAVE A BONE TO PIC WITH YOU! THERE IS SOMETHING I WANT, BUT MY CREW STOLE MY TREASURE WHEN THEY LEFT... AND NOW I WILL TAKE MONEY FROM YOU!" Said P.Ness

"Really? And how much money do you plan on taking from me?" Asked Shanks, looking toward P.Ness. P.Ness's grin got bigger as he was prepared to tell Shanks the amount.

"ONE BELI! I NEED IT TO BUY A BALL OF BUBBLE GUM FROM THE VENDING MACHINE ACROSS THE STREET!" Said P.Ness.

"One Beli eh? seems affordable..." Said Shanks, taking out a small gold coin from his pocket.

"SHANKS NO! HE'S TRICKING YOU! WHAT IF HE DOESN'T PAY YOU BACK!" Luffy yelled to Shanks. However, it was too late, P.Ness had already swiped the coin from Shank's hand, and held it in the air.

"MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! I FINALLY HAVE IT! THE BELI THAT WILL BUY ME MY GUM! YOU ARE A FOOL SHANKS, FOR YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! FAREWELL YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A PIRATE!" Said P.Ness. P.Ness then ran out of the bar, with his odor still left behind, causing all of the left over people to hurl.

A month later, it looked like P.Ness had not returned, not to mention it turns out that the gum in the vending machine was free due to it's defectiveness, and P.Ness had gotten away with part of Shank's treasure.

"THAT BASTARD! THAT'S UNFORGIVABLE! HE NEVER GAVE IT BACK TO YOU!" Luffy yelled out.

"It's no big deal Luffy... It was just One Beli..." Said Shanks.

"NO! I'LL FIND THAT BASTARD AND PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE... THEN I'LL GET BACK THAT VERY SAME BELI HE TOOK FOR YOU! PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS! I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU DOWN UNTIL STUFF COMES OUT!" Luffy yelled out loud. Shanks and every one in the bar just stared at Luffy blankly.

(End Flash back)

Nami was beating the living shit out of Luffy, slapping him across the face and ramming his hand into the a brick wall of one of the houses in the area.

"YOU CAUSED OVER A MILLIONS WORTH OF BELI IN PROPERTY DAMAGE ALL FOR ONE STUPID BELI! YOU BASTARD, THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I EVER HEARD! YOU COST ME THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE AND IT WAS ALL FOR ONE LITTLE PIECE OF CRAP BELI? I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS! I'LL KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!" Yelled Nami. She then stomped Luffy in the crotch for awhile, and then slammed him into the brick wall, breaking it in the process. Nami then took some deep breaths, now more irritated than ever. Now Usopp and Chopper were both hiding behind Nico Robin now, while Zoro stared Blankly.

"AND THIS IS FOR SCARING AWAY THE WOMEN IN THE PRETTY PANTIES!" Sanji yelled as he stomped down on Luffy.

"MUAHAHAHHAA! You must be a lousy captain, Luffy! You have shamed Shanks! JUST LOOK AT HOW YOUR NAKAMA TREATS YOU!" Said P.Ness. Luffy leaped out from the rubble of the brick wall and landed in front of P.Ness.

"ENOUGH! NOW I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS AND GET BACK THE BELI THAT BELONGS TO SHANKS!" Said Luffy.

"Oh Really? You're not the only one who's gotten a Devil fruit power... I ate the Enzyte Enzyte fruit! Or as I like to call it... The natural male enhancement fruit! It gives me the power to change my size!" Said P.Ness.

"The size of what?" Asked Sanji.

"That is none of your concern... " Said P.Ness.

"ENOUGH! LET'S GO! GUMO GUMO NO... PISTOL!" Said Luffy, launching his fist toward P.Ness

"You think that could defeat my Weiner? Then you are wrong!" Said P.Ness. He then began to slowly take off his pants.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE REACHING FOR!" Usopp said, with his eyes widened.

"I Can't watch!" Said Chopper.

"Behold my Weiner...WHIP!" Said P.Ness, taking out a whip made out of hot dog and using it to whip Luffy's arm away and then slam it into his own face, causing him to go flying.

"HEY YOU IDIOT! THAT'S NOT A WIENER, THAT'S A SAUSAGE!" Said Sanji.

"Alright you bastard, I'm going to cut your Weiner short!" Said Zoro.

"ZORO, KEEP OUT OF THIS! THIS IS MY FIGHT AND MY FIGHT ALONE!" Yelled Luffy as he jumped back into battle. This was it... THE BATTLE LUFFY HAD BEEN SEEKING HAD BEGUN!

"Gumo Gumo No... Whip!" Said Luffy, as he stretched his leg foward, which collided with the whip made of a hotdog and instantly causing it to rip apart. With the Weiner whip now broken, he had no weapons to defend himself.

"Well then... It seems that I will now have to bring out... MY BONER-"

"OI! NONE OF THAT! THERE ARE WOMEN PRESENT!" Said Sanji. Just then, a boomerang made out of bone slammed into Luffy's Neck, sending him into the ground. The boomerang then returned to P.Ness's hand.

"-Rang! This here is my bonerang! A Boomerang made from the toughest bones of the toughest sea serpents! You have no chance of defeating me!" Said P.Ness. Luffy sprung back up and rushed in for another attack, but the bonerang collided into Luffy's head, knocking him down again.

"LUFFY! STOP TRYING TO ATTACK P.NESS AND JUST ATTACK THE BONERANG!" Said Usopp. Luffy used Gumo No Pistol, trying to aim for the Boner Rang, but the Bonerang kept swiftly flying out of the way of Luffy's stretched fists. The Bonerang then hit Luffy in the ribs, then it flew around him and slammed into the back of his head. Luffy nearly fell down from the pain, but instantly retained his balance. Luffy then increased his focus, and then stetched both his arms back. The Bonerang was about to collide with him head on!

"GUMO GUMO NO... BAZOOKA!" Yelled Luffy. He then stretched both his arms foward at incredible speed and impact, shattering the bonerang on contact. Luffy then retracted his arms and rushed toward P.Ness, winding up for his next attack, Gumo Gumo No Pistol! Luffy once again stretched his arm foward holding a tight fist at the end of it and slamming his fist into P.Ness's groin. However, the punch had no effect at all, and Luffy's fist was now swollen when he retracted it, what could this man possibly have in his pants that was so damn hard?

"Muahahahahahhaa! Maybe it's time I showed you my secret weapon! My secret weapon being... My Dick-" P.Ness started seaching into his pants.

"OI OI OI! WAIT A MINUTE!" Zoro said. Just then P.Ness pulled out a book from his pants.

"Armstrong auto biography! This auto biography was written by a man named Dick Armstrong, and it's over twenty thousand pages long with a hard cover! This pic is so thick that it could be used as a sheild!" Said P.Ness.

"We'll just see about that!" Said Luffy, he then did another Gumo Gumo No Pistol attack straight toward P.Ness's face, but Penis put the big book in the way and blocked it instantly, suffing no damage at all. Luffy tried again and again with the same attack, but it was no use, none of Luffy's attacks would work and his fists were getting more swollen and hurt with every try.

"ARGH! PEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIS! I WILL NOT BE BEATEN! GUMO GUMO NO... GATLING GUN!" Yelled Luffy, he then started punching down the book multible times with his fists with the speed and impact of a machine gun firing a massive amount of bullets, but it was not working! The Book continued to withstand his punches one after another with out even getting so much as a dent. Luffy got Frustrated and jumped back. His fists were now bleeding and red.

"Give up?" Asked P.Ness, still with his annoying grin.

"NEVER! GUMO GUMO NO..." Luffy then stretched up his leg, and it stretched higher and higher and higher into the sky until his foot looked like a sky scraper compared to even the tallest of houses.

"EVERY ONE, CLEAR THE WAY!" Said Zoro. Sanji, Nami, and Zoro ran backwards while Nico Robin jumped back and pulled Chopper and Usopp with her.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXE!" Yelled Luffy, his foot came drop kicking down all the way to the ground about to land heel first into P.Ness's book. P.Ness grinned one final time and held the book up as he watch the foot come down... and finally...

BOOM! The entire area P.Ness was standing on exploded from the impact of the attack like a bomb!

Just like that, the battle was over... Luffy's foot tore the book in two and crushed P.Ness's skull in the process. Luffy breathed heavily as he retracted his leg, then fell back. The battle had come an end... or had it?

"Luffy, you did it!" Said Chopper.

"Good, now take your stupid Beli and let's get out of here!" Said Nami.Luffy nodded, and walked over to P.Ness's dead body, which was covered in rubble...however...

"Muahahahahahahhahaa! DID YOU THINK IT WAS THAT SIMPLE TO DEFEAT ME!" Said P.Ness. P.Ness then got right back up.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! HOW DID HE SURVIVE THAT?" Usopp explained. Sanji and the others stood in a defensive position, ready to attack if he got too close.

"It's time I show you... MY TRUE SECRET WEAPON! MY COCK!" Said P.Ness.

"Oh please, at this point we already know... it looks like your going to flash us but you pull out something from your pants which has the same name... WE GET IT!" Said Zoro.

"Yes... odds are at this point he will take out a rooster..." Said Nico Robin.

"Oh... well since you know that already, I'll just skip the cock and show you...THIS!" Exclaimed P.Ness. He then pulled down his pants and underpants, and something shined from in between his legs. Luffy and the other all stared, shocked at what they were seeing.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Usopp yelled.


	6. The Battle

Chapter 6: The battle

"Oh... well since you know that already, I'll just skip the cock and show you...THIS!" Exclaimed P.Ness. He then pulled down his pants and underpants, and something shined from in between his legs. Luffy and the other all stared, shocked at what they were seeing.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Usopp yelled.

"IT'S HIDEOUS!" Said Nami.

"IT'S HORRIBLE! DON'T LOOK AT IT, NAMI-SAN AND ROBIN-TWAN! I WILL PROTECT YOU!" Said Sanji.

"IT'S... IT'S..." Usopp could not bring himself to finish. It turns out what P.Ness showed them was not his own dick, but a dick none the less. What he was showing him was not only a dick, but his true identity. In fact, not only was his true identity a dick, but he was an asshole as well. P.Ness was really...

"4KIDS CEO AL KAHN!" Luffy yelled.

"Yes... It is I! 4KIDS CEO Al Kahn... and I am hear to ruin everything, because that is what I do!" Said Al Kahn.

"We'll see about that! Gum Gum ...Blast! Wait a minute... BLAST! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY! WHAT'S GOING ON! AND WHY IS MY VOICE SO CRAPPY NOW!" Yelled Luffy.

"You better watch yourself kid... I ate the Censor Censor fruit! It allows me mess up this world and mold anything into my own liking! and now, I will use my powers to turn the grand line into a world meant only for retarded children and over protective Soccer moms! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" Al Kahn Laughed.

"Gah! Dis basted is tellin da trute! I sound lika transvestite prostitute wit cansa!" Said Sanji, now with a horrible voice combined with a crummy accent. He also noticed the cigarette he was smoking had turned into a lollipop due to Al Kahn's powers.

"THAT'S IT! I'm going to kick his ass once and for all! Wait a minute... what's that sound? ARGH! IT'S HORRIBLE! MAKE IT STOP!" Said Zoro, hearing a horrible ghastly song in his head.

"YOU LIKE IT! I CALL IT THE PIRATE RAP! I HAVE REPLACED YOUR ORIGINAL AND HIP JAPANESE MUSIC WITH MY HORRIBLE RAP INTRODUCTION! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Said Al Kahn

"But... HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS!" Chopper said.

"WHY! BECAUSE I AM GREEDY! FAME! FORTUNE! IMMORTALITY! WOMEN! MEN! I WANT IT ALL!" Said Al Kahn.

"What was that last one?" Asked Robin.

"Women?" responded Al Kahn.

"No after that..." She said.

"I SAID NOTHING! NOW BOW DOWN TO ME ROBIN AND NAMI, FOR I SHALL USE MY 4KIDS POWERS TO GIVE YOU SHITTY VOICES THAT WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR SEXINESS! MKUAHAHAHAHA!" Said Al Kahn.

"NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!" Said Usopp. Usopp then pulled out something else from his bag... It was another rubber penis, except this one had fuzzy balls.

"USOPP SUPA DUPA EMERGENCY PENI-" Before Usopp could finish, Sanji kicked Usopp in the face while Zoro punched Usopp in the back of the head.

"ENOUGH WITH THE PENISES ALREADY!" Both men exclaimed. Usopp then fell down with a swollen face and holding the penis in the air.

"No wait... I recognize that penis! It's no ordinary one... It's actually an artifact that was once considered a mighty weapon!" Said Robin.

"You're kidding..." Zoro said. Usopp got up and held the penis in the air as it began to illuminate.

"USOPP SUPER DUPER EMERGENCY PENIS!" Said Usopp, the glowing penis then transformed into none other than the Inu Yasha's trade mark sword, THE TETSAIGA!

Suddenly, Usopp found himself dressed as Inu Yasha, Sanji was dressed as Miroku, Zoro was dressed as Kagome, Robin was dressed as Sango, Chopper was dressed as Kilala, Nami was dressed as Kikyo, and Luffy was dressed as Shippo.

"HEY, WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL FOR?" Yelled Zoro.

"Like I'd wear THAT stupid thing!" Said Nami. Zoro suddenly felt an awkward pressence on his buttocks. It was Sanji's hand, stroking Zoro's now silky smooth bottom. Zoro instantly got enraged, and punched Sanji square in the face.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, ASS NAZI!" Yelled Zoro.

"Sorry, it's the outfits..." Said Sanji, who now had a bleeding nose.

"MUAHAHAHHA! SUPER DUPER EMERGENCY PENIS YOU SAY! IT IS TIME I SHOW YOU... THE SUPER SECRET EMERGENCY PENIS!" Said Al Kahn, as he then took out a rubber penis similar to that of Usopps. Al Kahn's rubber penis was silver, and it caught Robin's attention.

"No! That's an ancient weapon of destruction! With that he could kill us all!" Said Nico Robin. Al Kahn's silver penis then turned into Bankotsu's trade mark sword, the Banryu! Al Kahn was now dressed up as Bankotsu as well.

"What a battle! Two ancient weapons being wielded by two great beings! One of good, one of evil, WHO WILL WIN?" Said a certain person who appeared next to Zoro.

"Who are you?" Zoro asked.

"I'm your greatest Nakama yet! I'm Eiichiro Oda, very well known manga artist of the grand line!" Said the man.

"I've never heard of you... you annoy me, go away!" Said Zoro. Eiichiro Oda's heart then broke as he then exploded into tears of pure Sorrow. Meanwhile in the battle, Usopp and Al Kahn charged into battle making a war cry, screaming like the bitches they were. Their big ass swords collided into each other, and clashed, making giant shock waves and shooting energy into the air. The energy was so intense that the entire city felt like it was shaking.

"WHATS GOING ON?" Yelled Nami.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Said Chopper.

"SUGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI!" Said Luffy.

"Wow, this battle has an enough exagerated power to be of dragon ball Z proportions!" Said Eiichiro Oda.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET LOST!" Zoro yelled at Eiichiro Oda. Eiichiro Oda then started to cry water falls. The ground under them started to crack as the two giant swords were pushing into one another, and neither of the weilders were backing down... until...

SLICE!

The huge amounts of power gushing through the blades had come to a sudden stop, as Usopp's Tetsaiga shattered, and what was left of it turned back into a regular rubber penis. Usopp fell on the ground, with what appeared to be a large Gash on his chest.

"Usopp! NO!" Said Luffy. He and the others ran up to Usopp to see how bad the wound was. Chopper did an inspection on the large gash.

"How does he look, Chopper?" Asked Luffy.

"ARGH! I can't look at it!" Said Nami.

"It's worse than I thought! Usopp has turned into... AN ICE BERG! WHAT A STUPID AND POINTLESS EDIT!" Chopper screamed out.

"Yes! I turned your friend Usopp into an Ice Berg, LIKE I DID WITH THAT WHALE, LABOON! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! AND YOU'RE ALL NEXT!" Said Al Kahn, he then continued his evil laugh. Luffy gave his Hat to Nami for safe keeping, and then cracked his knuckles. He could not take Al Kahn's bull crap any more, however, Robin passed him the Rubber Penis Usopp was carrying.

"Luffy, with that weapon he has, you cannot defeat him even with your devil fruit powers... you must use Usopp's penis and avenge him... Only this mystical weapon can destroy him, Luffy..." Explained Robin. Luffy was not too crazy about using a penis to battle of course, but then he realized what needed to be done, so he gripped the penis, and it began to shine. Just then, The penis transformed into a red light saber, like the ones seen in star wars.

"Al Kahn! I'm coming for you!" Said Luffy.

"Let us take it up to the next level!" Said Al Kahn. His Banryu transformed into a blue lightsaber. Just then, Luffy was dressed as Luke Skywalker, Al Kahn was dressed as Darth Vader, as the rest of Luffy's friends were turned to various star wars characters. (Except Usopp, Who was still an Ice Berg) Luffy and Al Kahn charged into each other, yelling outloud and having their light sabers collided. They blocked and dodged each others blows, but neither of them backed down from this battle. Al Kahn's light saber was bigger than Luffy's, allowing him to perform more power moves. Luffy's was lighter but strong, which made him faster as able to avoid most of the attacks.

"GIVE IT TO HIM LUFFY!" Yelled Chopper.

"KICK HIS FAT BLOB LIKE ASS!" Said Zoro.

"A DO WAKANAKA ICHI MAKA DAKA POOPIE!" Said Sanji, who was now java the hut.

"LUFFY! WATCH OUT!" Said Nami. Just then, Al Kahn sliced Luffy's hand, cuasing him to fall back in pain.

"LUFFY! NO!" Said Nico Robin. Luffy's hand had now become an ice berg.

"MY HAND! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU KILLED USOPP, YOU CUT OFF MY HAND, AND WORST OF ALL... YOU TOOK MONEY FROM SHANKS AND NEVER RETURNED IT!" Yelled Luffy.

"NOT THAT AGAIN!" Yelled Nami.

"No Luffy... I did not take money from Shanks... Luffy... I AM SHANKS!" Said Al Kahn.

"No... THAT CAN'T BE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Luffy cried out.

"That may be so... BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM CHANGING THE STORY LINE TO MAKE IT SO! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA-" Just then, Al Kahn's laugh was interupted.

"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!" Said a familiar voice from above him, which echoed through out the entire city. Al Kahn, Luffy, and the others looked above them.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Said Zoro.

"IT'S HUGE!" Said Chopper. What they were looking at was none other than the ship from Star Trek, The Enterprise! And piloting the ship was none other than captain Kirk and the rest of the star trek crew.

"I HAVE chased YOU to the ENDS of the UNIVERSE Kahn... and THIS time you WILL NOT escape..." Said captain Kirk.

"So let me get this straight... Al Kahn is the same Kahn from the star trek movie and episode 24?" asked Nami.

"It seems that way..." Said Nico Robin.

"Spock... AIM THE LASER CANNONS AT KAHN AND FIRE!" Said Captain Kirk,

"For the last time Will, I'm not Spock, I'm Leonard Nimoy!" Said Spock, as he pressed the button which fired powerful red laser beams at Al Kahn. The beams collided into Al Kahn and made a huge explosion, leaving Luffy and the others in awe. However, when the smoke cleared, Al Kahn did not have a scratch on his body.

"MUAHAHAHHAHAHA! YOU CANNOT HURT ME! THE CENSOR CENSOR FRUIT MAKES ME INVINCIBLE!" Said Al Kahn.

"CURSES! The LASER canons HAD no effect... we MUST think of something ELSE, Spock..." Said Captain Kirk.

"I JUST TOLD YOU, MY NAME IS NOT SPOCK! IT'S LEONARD NIMO- OH NEVER MIND!" Said Spock. Back where the battle was taking place, Luffy noticed Al Kahn had his back turned. Luffy grabbed the penis (Which was still in light saber form) which his other hand that had not been turned into an Ice Berg. He then rushed up to Al Kahn and sliced him in the back with the light saber, leaving a large Burn marking. Al Kahn got to him knee's, screaming.

"Spock, did you not SEE THAT? That rubber boys SWORD harmed Kahn! On my command, fire lasers into that boys saber, but set them to an energy frequency so that the saber may ABSORB more energy!" Said Captain Kirk.

"Will... FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT SPOCK! I AM LEONARD NIMOY! LEONARD NIMOY LEONARD NIMOY LEONARD NIMOY! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!" Yelled Spock.

"Not now Spock, now's the right time! FIRE! FIRE!" Commanded Captain Kirk. Spock sighed and pressed the button to activate the lasers. However, this time they shot out toward Luffy in the form of energy waves. The waves went into Luffy's light saber penis, causing it to vibrate and enlarge to great lengths. This was it, Luffy now had all the power it would take to destroy Al Kahn! When Al Kahn looked, back, he panicked, taking his own light saber penis and putting it in the way to defend himself. Luffy jumped up, and with one swing, Al Kahn's super duper emergency penis was split in two, and Luffy's super duper emergency penis stabbed through his body, causing him to explode.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Al Kahn, as he started to light up. With a giant fart, Al Kahn exploded into a giant ball of light that scattered through out the sky like fire works. Luffy fell backward, exhausted. The entire city was now a mess, but day light shined down on the city as a sign of new hope and beginnings. Every one was back to normal, Usopp was no longer an ice berg, and no one was cosplayed as any one anymore. The light saber penis vanished from Luffy's hand, it had served it's purpose, and it descended into the next world.

Luffy laid on the ground, exhuasted, but now all was well.

"LUFFY! YOU DID IT! WE DEFEATED AL KAHN!" Said Usopp. Luffy got back up, and right where Al Kahn died, there was the little piece of bellie that he had stolen from shanks many years ago. Luffy grabbed it, and held it in the air, looking at it. Luffy smiled... Shanks had been avenged!

"SHANKS, YOU HAVE BEEN AVANGED! I GOT YOUR BELLIE BACK AND DEFEATED THE PEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!" Luffy yelled out in a dramatic victory like pose.

"Glad that's over with... now let's get out of here before the Marines arrive!" Said Nami. The villagers of the village started to return, slowly coming out of hiding and some stepping back into town. They realized that the disgusting scent of P.Ness, A.K.A. Al Kahn, had vanished. That's when they all started to cheer.

"These people are heroes! They got rid of that horrible bastard Al Kahn!" Said one of the towns folk.

"What's going on here?" Asked Nami. Everything was explained, it turns out P.Ness, AKA Al Kahn, was using his devil fruit powers to drive the town toward insanity with his continuous pointless edits. And thanks to Luffy's efforts, Al Kahn had been destroyed. Although the town was pretty much left in rubble, It was nothing that could not be repaired. However, the first thing repaired was Nami's dream resturant, the fancy bouqet buffet, which they dined in shortly after it was fixed up. They had a great time, having access to free food for being considered heroes.

"By the way... what about the marines? Are they still coming?" Asked Nami, as she stuck her fork into a piece of meat. Sanji was surrounded by pretty women in tight revealing outfits.

"The mayor said he got in contact with them, and a report had been filed on a giant metal being appearing and stepping on their ships, destroying them on their way here..." Said Robin.

"Unusual... A giant METAL man... Is it NOT unusual... Spock?" Asked Captain Kirk.

"It's Leonard Nim... Oh I give up!" Said Spock, who then continued to add more food to his plate from the buffet. Luffy was helping himself to the Buffet, stuffing his face with everything from each Buffet table. Chopper, Zoro, and Usopp did their best to get food before Luffy snagged it from their clutches.

"Well, All's well ends well!" Said One Piece creator, Eiichiro Oda. Zoro took out one of his Katana.

"YOU DIE NOW!" Zoro yelled, dropping his plate. He then chased Eiichiro Oda all over the Buffet, trying to kill him. Luffy sat down, laughing and purely amused. Everything seemed back to normal... Until all went silent when Luffy started sniffing the air again. A strange and angry look crossed his face. It was a look of pure rage, the same expression he had on his face when he first caught the scent of P.Ness in his nose.

"Luffy... is something wrong?" Robin asked. Luffy then stood up on the table and started screaming "VAGIIIIIIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp instantly tackled down Luffy. Nami started stomping down on Luffy's head.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! NOT AGAIN!" Yelled Nami.

"VAGIIIIINNNAAAAAAA!" Luffy continued to yell.

"LUFFY, SHUT UP! WE ARE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN!" Yelled Zoro. Just then, a giant shadow covered the entire city. Every one was left in awe, it was like an eclispe!

"OH MY GOD, WHAT'S THAT?" Yelled Usopp. A giant steel foot was above the entire town and with one mighty stomp, every one in the town was smashed and killed in the process with no survivors, including Luffy and his crew. The giant metal foot stood in place connected to a giant metallic being. He looked down at the village going "OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

Al, the walking clunky living hollow suit of armor from Full Metal Alchemist, suddenly woke up bed, panicked. He looked around, he was just in a regular room, all the events that had just occured had only been a dream. Al was wearing bunny pajama's, and he got out of bed. He walked down the hall way into his brother Ed's room. He slowly opened the door, and started whispering to Ed.

"Brother? Brother, wake up!" Al whispered. Ed woke up, yawning and looking toward Al.

"Alphonse... do you know what TIME it is?" Asked Ed, who was still exhausted.

"It's just that... I had a real bad dream! I was giant, and I stepped on teeny tiny people and I think I hurt them! Can I sleep with you tonight, brother?" Asked Al. Edward looked at his tin can of a brother awkwardly at first, but then shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine with me. I'll scoot over..." Said Ed.

"Great! I'll be right back, just let me get my pillow!" Said Al. Al then went back down the hall to fetch his things. Edward then scooted over a bit, and then rested his head back on his pillow.

"It seems you neglected to tell your brother about US, Full Metal..." Said a Roy Mustang's voice. Ed's eyes widened, and he turned on the light. There was Roy Mustang, right next to Edward in the same bed, wearing nothing nothing but a pair of womens panties and had long hair. Edward's hair stood up from this frightening sight, as he then trembled out of fear.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Edward screamed, which echoed through the entire night.

Rock Lee, a ninja in the village of Konoha, suddenly sprung up from his bed breathing heavily. Rock Lee looked around the room, it was night time and everything seemed pretty normal. He felt deeply disturbed by all the crazy things he saw in his dream and now could not get back to sleep. Lee packed his blanket and a pillow, then left his house. After a few minutes of walking down the village, he came toward Gai's apartment. Lee took some pebbles from the ground and threw them at Gai's window.

Gai, who was inside of his house, was awakened by pebbles thrown at his window. He then opened it and looked down, only to see Lee.

"Lee... What are you doing? It's three in the morning... we have to be up in two more hours..." Said Gai.

"Gai Sensei, I had a bad dream just now! It was very scary and disturbing... I can't get back to sleep now! Can I please sleep with you?" Asked Lee. Gai looked down at Lee with a blank expression.

"Fine... let me open the front door..." Said Gai. Lee walked up the steps to get to the second floor, and then entered Gai's apartment. Gai turned on the light momentarily so Lee could find a spot to get settled in Gai's room. To Lee's surprise, there were other people in the room! There was Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, Neji, even Gaara!

"Gai Sensei, what's going on? Are you having a sleep over?" Asked Lee.

"No Lee... This is not a sleep over..." Said Gai, still sleepy and scratching the back of his head.

"We all had the same dream... the crazy guy who could stretch yelling out "PENIS!", the ship from Star Trek, a talking penis, Al Kahn, and Roy Mustang in bed wearing a pair of panties... and we're all scared and VERY disturbed..." Said Kakashi.

"HEY! TURN OFF THE LIGHTS ALREADY, I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SHUT EYE!" Said a talking penis next to Naruto. (The same talking penis from the beginning of chapter 5 of this story) Every one, espically Lee, stared at the penis as an awkward silence crossed them for a few seconds. Gai started to laugh, and every one else in the room joined him. The moment was so disturbing that it was funny, and they laughed the night away...

Just then, Luffy's giant foot stepped on the little house, crushing it, and killing every one inside as he screamed out "VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"OI, LUFFY! YOU JUST DID HUNDREDS OF MORE DOLLARS WORTH OF PROPERTY DAMAGE!" Yelled Zoro.

"WATCH WHERE YOU STEP YOU IDIOT!" Yelled Usopp

"Really? I did? oh... SORRY!" Said Luffy, as he then smiled.

THE END


End file.
